Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Marriage and Men

Jesus is the only perfect man to ever live. Because most men fail to look to Him as our example, there exists 2 extremes in men: chauvinism and cowardice. Pastor Mark Driscoll preaches to men about being real men who love God and serve their family well in this sermon from Trial.


1. Your father: Adam (Genesis 1–3)
Marriage is a covenant (Prov. 2:16; Mal. 2:14).
Men are the covenant head, responsible for their wife and family (Gen. 2:18; 5:2; 1 Cor. 11:2–16, 14:33–34; Eph. 5:21–33; Col. 3:18; Titus 2:3–5; 1 Pet. 3:1).
Adam and Eve both sinned, both are at fault, and both are cursed, but God held Adam responsible (Gen. 3:9).
Marriage is cursed (Gen. 3:16). Work is cursed (Gen. 3:17–19). Jesus is the only hope (Gen. 3:15).

2. Your Manhood
Like Adam, the sins of men fall into two general categories: sins of comission (doing what you’re not supposed to do) and sins of omission (not doing what you’re supposed to do). This leads chauvinistic or cowardly tendencies:


No Sissy Stuff Sam: whatever women do, do the opposite

Success and Status Stewart: masculinity = material success

Give’em Hell Hank: angry and abusive

I’m the Boss Bob: domineering and controlling; in authority, not under authority

Little Boy Larry: never grew up, disorganized, lives with his mother, etc.

Sturdy Oak Owen: absolutely dependable but emotionally absent

Hyper-Spiritual Henry: Hides behind religious behavior and “God talk.” Talks at you but not to you.

Good Time Gary: irresponsible life of the party

3. Your Savior: Jesus Christ (the Last Adam, 1 Cor. 15:45)
Ephesians 5:25 calls men to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Men are not ready to be good husbands until they are a part of the Church and understand how Christ loves the Church by taking responsibility for her and sacrificing himself for her.

The essence of true masculinity is taking responsibility.

4. Your Wife
Understand that a wife’s fears (1 Pet. 3:6) are legitimate; men dominate the lives of women and children, for good or for evil. Honor your wife:

Honor her maritally. Take a wife honorably. Establish right priorities, and be a one woman man–absolutely faithful to your wife.

Honor her physically. Be strong for your wife, not against her. Be protective of her and present with her.

Honor her emotionally. Be emotionally present and intimate. Take her on dates.

Honor her verbally. Speak honorably to her. Speak honorably of her, when she is present and absent.

Honor her financially. Provide for the financial needs of your family, organize your budget, and be generous towards your wife.

Honor her practically. Consider her needs and how you can serve her.

Honor her parentally. Be “Pastor Dad” by shepherding your children (praying with them, teaching them about Jesus, reading the Bible with them, etc.).

Honor her spiritually. You initiate and lead prayer, Bible, chats, church attendance, etc. Take responsibility for your church.
What happens when you fail to honor your wife? God ignores you (1 Pet. 3:7). Repent.

Further Study:

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, by Wayne Grudem and John Piper
God, Marriage, and the Family, by Andreas Kostenberger
New Men, Soft Patriarchs: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands, by W. Bradford Wilcox

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